How to Help Your Child Understand Big Feelings: Simple Tips That Work
- Ready Rocket Resources
- May 25, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: May 22
Parenting can feel like a rollercoaster, especially when big emotions show up (usually right when you're trying to get out the door). And if your child experiences the world a little differently (maybe they feel things deeply, process slowly, or march to the beat of their own drum) it can feel that much harder.
The good news? Emotional intelligence isn’t about fixing behaviour or turning your child into someone they’re not. It’s about helping them understand and express their feelings in a way that feels right for them, whether they’re neurotypical, neurodivergent, or somewhere in between.
This guide is all about:
Understanding what emotional intelligence really means (no sticker charts needed)
Honouring your child’s unique way of experiencing emotions
Practical, compassionate ways to support emotional growth without pressure
Creating a home environment where every feeling is safe and every brain belongs
What Is Emotional Intelligence (And What Is It Not)?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to notice, understand, and move through emotional states. It includes things like self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation.
What it is not:
Forcing kids to be calm all the time
Expecting kids to regulate before they’ve learnt the skills (emotional regulation is a series of skills)
Assuming all kids should respond to emotions in the same way
Neurodivergent kids, like those with ADHD, autism, sensory sensitivities, or anxiety, often experience emotions more intensely or express them in ways that don’t fit the typical mold. That’s not a flaw. It’s just a different way of being human.
Why Emotional Intelligence Is a Superpower
Helping your child grow their emotional intelligence gives them tools for:
Navigating friendships and communication
Building self-esteem in a world that might not always understand them
Developing resilience in their own time and way
Feeling seen, heard, and accepted, especially when emotions run high
6 Neuroaffirming Ways to Support Emotional Intelligence at Home
1. Validate First, Always
No matter how big or confusing the emotion, start by acknowledging it.“You’re feeling so overwhelmed right now. I hear you.”This helps your child feel safe in their body and in their relationship with you.
2. Don’t Prioritise ‘Calm’ Over Connection
Regulation doesn’t always look like stillness. Some kids need to move, stim, or express loudly before they can settle. Let them process in their own way. You can co-regulate by being nearby, breathing slowly, or offering calming tools without demanding calm.
3. Model Emotional Flexibility (Not Perfection)
You’re allowed to get it wrong sometimes. Say things like, “I was feeling stressed and I snapped. That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.” You’re teaching repair, not perfection.
4. Use Visuals, Stories, or Play
Some kids process feelings better through play, pictures, or stories. Try using emotion cards, drawing faces together, or reading books that explore big feelings, like our Galaxy Guide to Running My Rocket. There’s no one right way to learn emotional skills.
5. Make Space for Sensory Needs
Sometimes emotional dysregulation comes from sensory overload. It might be too loud, too bright, or too fast. Understanding your child’s sensory profile can help prevent meltdowns and support smoother transitions.
6. Celebrate Small Wins (Even Invisible Ones)
Not every success is dramatic. If your child paused before reacting, used a tool without prompting, or simply let you support them during a tough moment, that’s growth. Honour it.
Building Empathy (Without Forcing Social Scripts)
Empathy looks different for different kids. You can help grow it by:
Sharing your own feelings openly
Encouraging gentle curiosity, like “What do you think they might be feeling?”
Using pretend play or books to explore different perspectives
But avoid shaming or demanding forced apologies. True empathy takes time and safety to develop.
What About Resilience?
Resilience isn’t about bouncing back quickly. It’s about learning to move through hard things with support, self-trust, and emotional tools that work for your child. Let them take their time, ask for help, and know that setbacks are not failures. They’re part of growth.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be a perfect parent to raise emotionally intelligent kids. You just need to be a safe, consistent one who sees their child for who they really are.
Emotional intelligence isn’t a one-size-fits-all destination. It’s a lifelong process of learning, unlearning, feeling, and connecting.
And the best part? Every hug, every “I see you,” and every deep breath you take together is already building it.
Want to Learn More About These Strategies in Action?
💻 Ready Rocket has a range of supports for parents, professionals, and educators who want to confidently guide children through big emotions in a way that’s supportive, science-informed, and truly neuroaffirming.
Choose the Path That’s Right for You:
👨👩👧👦 Online Emotions Workshop – Parents & Carers
🕒 4-hour self-paced training
Gain the tools and knowledge to support your child through emotional dysregulation with confidence and compassion.
🧠 Online Emotions Workshop – Therapists & Allied Health Professionals
🕒 4.5-hour self-paced training
Learn a developmentally-informed, neuroaffirming approach to regulation support for diverse clients and therapy goals.
🏫 Ready Rocket School Learning Program – Educators
A classroom-ready, whole-school emotional regulation program built on the same powerful framework with extension into these concepts and more! Includes developmentally tailored content for Kindergarten, Pre-Primary, Year 1, and Year 2.
Perfect for early childhood and primary teachers looking for practical, evidence-aligned emotional literacy education.
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